Dirty Little Secrets Read online

He pinched the bridge of his nose, beginning to feel like a broken record. “I’m too busy to date, Mom.”

  “You work far too much—”

  “Have you met my father?” he asked dryly. “Where do you think I get it from?”

  “Yes, but your father had me. You need a work-life balance. And the girls need a mother.”

  “The girls are well taken care of,” he insisted. “And now I’m going to hang up on you and go kiss them goodnight. Goodnight, Mother.”

  She sighed, the sound pained. “Goodnight, Aiden.”

  Ending the call, Aiden gathered his briefcase from the passenger seat and climbed out, heading up the interior stairs to the townhouse above. He was later than he liked to be, later even than usual, but today had piled up on him.

  The house was quiet when he entered the kitchen, the girls already asleep. Even Benjamin Franklin hadn’t stayed up to greet him. Aiden tried to get home early enough to have dinner with the girls every night, even if it meant going back to the office after they were in bed or working from home late into the night. He tried to be with them as much as he could, but some days it just wasn’t possible.

  A single light had been left on over the island, but otherwise the main floor was a mass of shadows. Aiden dropped his briefcase onto the counter and climbed the stairs without turning on a light, enjoying the silence. At the second floor landing, he turned left, toward his princesses’ kingdom. He navigated the playroom, dolls and teddy bears watching him from their shadowy perches, and silently approached the door to his daughters’ room that had been left cracked open.

  He peeked inside and smiled to himself. He didn’t know why he’d paid for two beds. Almost every night, Stella ended up crawling in beside Maddie. The older by ten minutes, Maddie slept with one arm flung over her sister, the two mirror images of one another, but so incredibly different. They’d always had distinct personalities, but over the last six months Maddie’s tantrums had reached epic levels while Stella seemed to grow shyer and more biddable the more Maddie tested her boundaries. Both of them so smart. So incredibly precious.

  Benjamin Franklin lifted his head from where he lay at the foot of Maddie’s bed and his tail thumped twice in greeting. Aiden scratched the mutt behind the ears before tugging the covers Maddie had kicked down back up over the girls and dropping a kiss on each forehead. The dog stayed behind, dropping his shaggy head back down on his paws as Aiden slowly closed the door.

  He and Chloe had adopted the long-haired mutt together when they were first married. Scott had teased them that Benjamin Franklin was their starter baby and he hadn’t been wrong. They’d both doted on the mutt, but he’d really been Aiden’s dog—until the girls came along and the two of them had won the puppy over, heart and soul.

  Aiden descended to the kitchen to investigate the dinner options. Samira knew better than to expect him home for dinner with his erratic work schedule, but she often prepared extra just in case and tucked the leftovers in the fridge for him to heat up when he made it home. It wasn’t her job. She was only responsible for the girls, not cooking for him or tidying up after him—they had a maid service that came in once a week for that—but he’d been spoiled by her consideration.

  Aiden grabbed what looked like some kind of pasta dish and tossed it into the microwave, still without turning on the light. Moments later the timer binged and he grabbed a fork and the hot container.

  It wasn’t the first time he’d eaten alone in a dark kitchen before heading to his home office to work for a few more hours. Probably wouldn’t be the last either.

  Maybe his mother did have a point about the work-life balance, though dating was the farthest thing from his mind. His girls were all he had time for apart from work—and if he hid in his work to avoid thinking about Chloe and the life they should have had together, at least it was meaningful work. Important work. His mentor had argued before the Supreme Court and been honored by the American Institute of Legal Counsel multiple times during his distinguished career. Aiden only hoped he could have half the impact as a jurist that Terrance Washington had.

  Light suddenly flooded the kitchen and Aiden spun, Tupperware clutched in his hand and fork half-raised, as a feminine voice emitted a soft shriek.

  “Mr. Raines. You startled me,” Samira gasped, one hand pressed over her heart.

  “Aiden,” he corrected—as he hadn’t had to do in years. He must have really scared her if they were back to Mr. Raines. He waited for his own heart rate to settle, flashing the nanny a reassuring smile. “Sorry about that.”

  She didn’t usually come downstairs and socialize after the girls were out for the count, habitually retreating to the privacy of her third-floor room.

  “I was just getting a glass of water,” she explained nervously—and he had the sudden feeling that he was the one invading her home for all that the townhouse was technically his. She stood in the kitchen in fuzzy slippers, fidgeting with the hem of the flannel pink and white cloud PJs that covered her from neck to ankle. “What are you doing down here in the dark?”

  He lifted the nearly empty Tupperware as explanation, offering, “I didn’t bother turning on a light. I promise I don’t usually lurk down here in the dark.”

  She nodded and jolted into motion, moving toward the cabinet with the glasses. “Would you like anything to drink?” she asked, holding up a glass—again the hostess, like he was a guest in her kitchen.

  “No, thanks.” He set his dish in the sink and grabbed his briefcase to get it out of her way as she filled the glass from the fridge, still avoiding his gaze and seeming inexplicably nervous. Aiden frowned. He’d never gotten very chummy with the girls’ nanny, but she’d always seemed comfortable around him before. Quiet, but efficient. Confident in a way that didn’t need to be loud about it, but now she was fumbling with her glass and giving him a wide berth as she moved toward the sink. “Is everything all right?”

  A sudden thought made his stomach drop. She wasn’t going to quit, was she? The girls loved her. And he did not have time to find a new nanny. Though his mother would probably delight in finding one for him. Or using it as an excuse to arrange a marriage.

  “Of course,” Samira assured him, downing her water and tucking her glass into the dishwasher. “Maddie’s been testing her limits again. She refused to eat dinner tonight and cried for half an hour when she couldn’t have dessert, but she calmed down and ate before bath time.” She picked up the Tupperware, starting to rinse it.

  “I’ll get that.” He plucked the Tupperware from her hands and set it back in the sink. “Catering to me isn’t your job. You’re off the clock.”

  She rolled her lips inward, still studying the counter rather than meeting his eyes.

  “Samira?”

  Please don’t let her quit, he silently begged the universe. Maddie was not the easiest child in the world to manage and Samira was amazing with her. Calm and steady and capable of withstanding her sometimes volatile moods. The nanny was an invisible presence in his life, keeping things running so smoothly he sometimes forgot how essential she was to his domestic tranquility.

  She swallowed visibly and looked up. “I need to ask you something.”

  “Anything,” he said, meaning it. Whatever she needed, she could have. As long as she didn’t quit.

  “I was wondering if you could be home by seven next Thursday.”

  Thank God. That he could do. “Hot date?” he teased, grinning with his relief. Samira blushed and his smile fell from his face. “Oh. Right.”

  CHAPTER THREE

  Samira studied the play of expressions across her boss’s face, silently pleading with him to deny her request. She’d promised Jackie she would ask, but if Aiden said he was busy and couldn’t get away that night, then she was off the hook.

  Just say no. She thought the words at him as loudly as she could, all but using the Force, but her Jedi powers failed her.

  His smile was quick and crushing. “I’m an ass, aren’t I? Worst boss ever.
Of course I’ll be home on time. I’ve been working too much and not even thinking about how that would affect you.”

  “No, I don’t mind. Really,” Samira insisted, resisting the urge to beg him to work more.

  Why had she asked? Why hadn’t she just told Jackie he couldn’t spare her? Why had she let Jackie convince her to date again? She didn’t want a man in her life, damn it. That was one of the things she loved about working with the girls. She didn’t have to worry about contorting herself to fit into what they wanted her to be. She was the boss.

  Except Aiden was technically the boss. Though he usually forgot to act like one.

  “I’m sorry.” He was shaking his head, face twisted ruefully. “My mother was just telling me that I have no concept of a work-life balance. Which means you have no work-life balance since you work when I work. You should’ve smacked me upside the head months ago.”

  “I really didn’t mind,” she insisted. “I’m only going on this date because my friend Jackie badgered me into it because she thinks I have no life.” She didn’t know why she’d admitted that, the words slipping out involuntarily, but Aiden grinned, eyes crinkling.

  “My mother’s saying the same thing. There must be something in the water. All our loved ones suddenly deciding we need to be set up.” His grin quirked up on one side, dimple popping, and Samira’s heart gave a strange heavy thud.

  A man like Aiden hardly needed to be set up.

  Chiseled jaw, strong shoulders, thick dark hair, bright blue eyes… He was handsome—gorgeous, if she was honest with herself—but it had been years since she’d actively noticed that fact. She had a habit of being awkward around attractive, charismatic men, but she hadn’t felt uncomfortable around him in a long time. He was her employer. The girls’ father. Samira was almost never alone with him and when she was they were always discussing the girls—their needs, their development, whether or not Stella was falling behind developmentally since she had a tendency to let Maddie do things for her, which waiting lists for which elite kindergarten programs the girls should be on, and whether or not they were overscheduled with their myriad activities.

  But this, talking with Aiden about their mutual workaholic tendencies, it felt different, and she suddenly didn’t know what to do with her hands. It had to be the breakdown of roles. Yes, they were talking about her schedule, but she wasn’t actively being the nanny right now and he wasn’t actively being the girls’ father. At the moment he was just a man and she was just a woman—and the twinkling of his smile was freaking her out far more than she wanted to admit.

  “I promise to be home bright and early next Thursday. And any other day you have a date.” His gaze touched her, settling on her face, and he winked. “I’m surprised we haven’t had men banging down the door before now.”

  Was he flirting with her?

  No. Impossible. He was just being nice. Aiden Raines was a nice guy.

  “You probably have weeks of vacation stored up too,” he went on—effectively burying any trace of flirtation beneath logistics. “I don’t want you to feel like you can’t use it.”

  “I don’t. Feel that way,” she went on in a rush at his look. Why did handsome men turn her into a gibbering idiot? One would think her ex-husband would have cured her of that, but no such luck. And why was she suddenly so aware of Aiden Raines as a handsome man? He was her boss. Nothing more. “I should—it’s late. Time for beddie bye.”

  Mortification washed over her face. Beddie bye. She’d just said beddie bye, like she was talking to a four-year-old. Aiden’s lips quirked with amusement, but she yelped, “Good night!” and bolted from the room before he could respond.

  Why? Why did she have to notice him that way now? Her mortification chased her up the stairs. Maybe it was a good thing she was going on that date. Maybe she needed a man in her life to distract her from the extremely inappropriate thoughts that had suddenly awoken in her mind about her boss. Maybe this Brian Wilson really would be The One. Though she’d stopped thinking about The One years ago. Stopped dreaming and certainly stopped wanting a man in her life. She was good at being alone. Better at it.

  So why did the memory of Aiden’s twinkling, dimpling smile chase her up the stairs?

  *

  Aiden watched Samira flee from the room, feeling like a prize asshole—which made sense, since apparently he’d been behaving like one without noticing for months. Years, even.

  As long as she’d worked for him, she’d never asked for anything. She had every Saturday off and was supposed to have her evenings to herself, but he was so rarely home on time that she often ended up doing the girls’ bedtime routine herself. He’d been taking advantage of her. He worked in employment law for Chrissake and he’d been abusing his own employee without even noticing.

  How long had she worked for him? Two years? Chloe had hired her. Which meant at least two years. The woman needed a raise. And for him to actually live up to his side of the bargain and get home on time.

  Did she get overtime? Chloe had set up all the details years ago and Aiden hadn’t thought about it, Samira’s pay automatically sent every month. It was time he woke up and paid attention to the details in his home life rather than going through the motions like he had been for the last two years.

  When was the last time Samira had taken a vacation? Had she ever taken a vacation? He would’ve had to arrange alternate child care and he didn’t remember ever doing that.

  His mother volunteered to help whenever he needed it, but Maddie and Regina Montgomery-Raines spending prolonged periods of time together tended to be a recipe for disaster. Charlotte was the twins’ godmother and loved to take them for shopping expeditions and trips to various playlands, but her maternal instincts maxed out at about three hours.

  What would he do without Samira? She was the glue that held his life together without him even noticing it.

  He’d be on time on Thursday. Be better about everything. As long as she didn’t quit. Anything but that.

  *

  Aiden stomped on the brake the following Thursday night, silently cursing the rush hour traffic and clogged roadways. It had been so long since he’d driven this route at a normal hour that he’d forgotten the true depth of suckage involved in DC traffic. He checked the dashboard clock every two seconds, but it wasn’t helping.

  He was going to be late. The one thing Samira had ever asked of him and he was going to screw it up.

  Aiden swore under his breath and asked his phone to call the house. It rang until he thought the machine might pick up before Samira answered with a breathless, “Aiden?”

  “I’m sorry. The traffic is a mess and I didn’t allow enough time—”

  She cut him off, almost eagerly, “You know, it’s okay. I’ll reschedule. It’s no problem.”

  “No. I’ll be there. I’m on my way.” Miraculously, the traffic opened up in front of him and Aiden pressed down the accelerator. “Ten minutes. Just tell your guy that your boss is a dick and he’s making you ten minutes late. You can give him my number and he can call and chew me out for screwing up your life.”

  “It really isn’t a big deal—”

  “I’ll be there soon. I made you a promise and I keep my promises.”

  “Okay,” she said, sounding oddly hesitant before he hung up the phone.

  Something niggled at the back of his brain as Aiden signaled, turning down a side street to avoid a couple lights, speeding and praying all the area cops were looking the other way. Was it possible Samira had sounded relieved when she said she’d reschedule? Or was that just wishful thinking?

  He pulled into the garage, parking beside the SUV, and launched himself out of the car and up the stairs at a jog. He burst through the door into the kitchen to find both of his girls sitting at the island. “I’m sorry,” he said before he even looked around for the object of his apology.

  “Daddy!” Maddie scrambled clumsily off her stool. Benjamin Franklin barked, spinning in an excited circle. He caught
his daughter as she flung herself at him, hitching her up into his arms and out of range of Benjamin Franklin’s clumsy spirals. “We made Miss Sammie pretty!”

  He turned to face Samira where she stood at the oven—and his breath whooshed out of him. “Yes, you did,” he murmured. The girls’ help was evident in the sparkling purple ribbon threaded through her hair, but somehow even with that addition she didn’t look like she was playing dress up. She looked incredible.

  Samira’s lips curled up hesitantly and he slapped what he hoped was a friendly, employer-like smile over his poleaxed expression.

  She wore a silky dark blue dress with a wide neck that showed off her collarbones—and when had he ever noticed collarbones before? Snug sleeves came down to her elbows, but it was the way the fabric hugged her hips and flared out that really drew his eye, the loose calf-length skirt shifting around her legs in a constant whispering movement.

  He shouldn’t be so stunned. He’d known—academically—that there had to be a shape beneath the fleece yoga pants and loose sweaters she always wore. He’d just never thought about what that shape might be, or considered that it might be so sleek. So sexy.

  Not that he was thinking of her that way. He kicked himself, checking to be sure his employer-ish smile was still in place. “You look great.”

  She ducked her chin, biting her lower lip. Her lips were rosier than usual. Eyes smokier. Cheekbones standing out. How was it he’d never noticed the fine bone-structure? The way her dark eyes gleamed? It wasn’t entirely the makeup. Had he really been that oblivious? He saw her every day. How had he never seen her?

  “It’s not too much?” She smoothed a hand nervously down her hip, drawing his eye to the sleek line.

  “It’s perfect,” he assured her—telling himself he was only talking about the dress. He shouldn’t be gawking at her, but he couldn’t seem to help it.

  “We get nuggets and tater tots cuz I was perfect today,” Maddie bragged, calling his attention back to the loves of his life.

  “Is that so?” he asked her, crossing to where Stella sat at the island to drop a kiss on her curls. Benjamin Franklin followed, sitting with a thud at Stella’s side and gazing up adoringly at one of his two favorite suppliers of dropped human food.